by: Anonymous
November 3, 2026
“That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead”
My body and house shook violently at the sound of a deafening bang. As I stepped outside, the air was filled with a tinge of burning metal. War had begun.
I found myself in a reality that few in the West experience: the sufferings of war. I had flown again to the Middle East to serve as a missionary and, just two weeks after, war broke out. We began to be bombed nearly daily. Terrorists blew up churches and hotels just a mile or so from my house.
I had prayed many times as Apostle Paul did that I would “know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings” Philippians 3:10. And now, God was answering my prayer on a much greater scale.
I had been on a several-year journey of learning what Apostle Paul meant by “fellowshipping with His sufferings.” Since being saved, I knew God loved me and I had great passion for the Gospel and life in the Kingdom, but it was not until I delved deeply into the sufferings of Christ that I began to experience the “deep things of God” (1 Corinthians 2:10).
As I began to behold Him on the cross and worship Him for the wounds He endured for my sake, a whole new ocean was opened up to me. I would get lost in His presence as the eyes of my heart beheld the beauty of the Suffering Servant. I was experiencing an ancient, sacred practice of the church for nearly two thousand years. I was fellowshipping with His sufferings.
And there is a glorious outflow of these kinds of times of prayer. A grace – and desire – to suffer for His sake and those He loves. By the time I found myself in the war, it was nearly easy for me to say “yes” to God to suffer and perhaps lose my life for His sake. I began to understand what Moses did when he chose “rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt; for he looked to the reward” (Hebrews 11:25-26).
All parts of the Gospel – Christ’s incarnation, sufferings and death, burial, resurrection, and ascension – are essential, and glorious. But there is one part that distinctly stands out: His sufferings and death. Why? Because this is how God defines love. “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
His sacrificial love is true nourishment – it is true food and drink. Perhaps this is why Christ gave us the sacrament of Holy Communion. As St. Ignatius of Antioch said prior to being martyred circa A.D. 110:
“I have no taste for corruptible food nor for the pleasures of this life. I desire the bread of God, which is the flesh of Jesus Christ...and for drink I desire His blood, which is love incorruptible.”
Prayer
Lord Jesus, would you open the eyes of my heart to behold the beauty of the cross. What is despised and foolish to the world, may it be true beauty and wisdom to me. I desire to get lost in Your presence as I fellowship with Your sufferings. Show me the deep things of God. I desire to be conformed to Your image that I may declare Your sacrificial love to a broken and dying world. I love You Jesus. Amen.
Worship: Real Love- The Finding
Further Study
Isaiah 52:13-15 & Isaiah 53:1-12, Matthew 26-28, Mark 14-16, Luke 22-24, John 6, John 18-21
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As I began to behold Him on the cross and worship Him for the wounds He endured for my sake, a whole new ocean was opened up to me.